What now?

I had practice tonight at Meizi’s and it was fun! I played more then I practiced.

I have decided that I will go and embarrass myself to a new level and audition for a role in RENT. I wrote to the production person and he said that I was most welcome to join (cause I told him how much of a noob I was) but he had to let me know that it would be very competitive and many of those who are auditioning would have already done several musicals, theater and singing. I would have to be a very confident singer to even have a chance. Heck! That’s easy! I sing! I’m confident! I mean at least I got both the characteristics he mentioned right? Although I do think that was not what he meant.

Oh well! I know that, but I will do this anyway. I’m gonna squawk like a chicken, walk like a chicken, look like a chicken but by george I’m gonna feel like an eagle! I’ll do this as a dare to myself. Get out of one’s comfort zone and all that jazz. I wish I could bring my camera to record this. Hmm I think I will sneak one in…. he he he. I already have the voices in my head saying things like ‘why bother when your not gonna get anywhere?’ ‘why are you so keen to embarrass yourself?’ ‘not scared to lose face kah?’ ‘you don’t even sing very well’ ‘you can’t dance! ‘your stiff as a board’. Am I over thinking this? Pretty bad for the ego you know.

Some videos of the show…it’s pretty ‘out’ there isn’t it? Will let you know how terrible I was at the auditions which will be held this Saturday.

Had band practice yesterday and it was the same old routine. I came late and they still had not started, the pans were not even set up yet and everyone was just pottering around chit chatting. Honestly, I do wonder why I bother even coming to this. Like I said we have a gig coming up soon and we aren’t even ready for it. Not all the members can come, those who are there don’t really know what their doing and the only competent person that night was the musical director and the drummer. It boggles the mind! I go away for 5 months and nothing has changed. But I can’t really blame anyone for this I mean we are a Caribbean type band so I guess the mood and mentality is really on ‘island time’ taking things slow and easy, go with the flow man. I think the problem with the band myself included is that we are really fussy on the details but what makes steel pans so unique is that it’s a joyful celebration of sound, noise, laughter and movement! It’s a messy sound that reverberates to your soul and makes you wanna get up and dance!

I haven’t sent my photos to Astro Hitz yet! I’m procrastinating, I’m just prolonging my rejection. I mean when they find out that I am in New Zealand and I’m not even sure when I

can go to Malaysia they will surely find my application too mah fan. I don’t know why I even bother. So 30th of November has come and passed and I still have not heard from History Asia. They did say (in small print) that they would only call those who made the cut). Argh! Rejected! Breathe in~ Breathe out~ Back to the drawing board. Man, this is like finding a full time job. The last time was when I was a graduate fresh out of University and I was looking for my first ever ‘real’ job. I got rejected about 25 times before I landed myself a role.

Ha! Let me delve into a bit of melodramatic self pity before I snap myself out of it. Ok done! I’m out of it. I am a true believer of feeling sorry for oneself once in awhile just to ease off on the ‘I can do anything’ mentality as it can get pretty tiring trying to keep the smile on one’s face. I’m sure you have been there before so you will know what I mean.

Till Then


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Filed under Life, Movies/Work/Music, MsAudreyC

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