I rarely read my families blogs but I read one today out of sheer curiosity to find out wh at has been happening in their lives and to see if they were doing ok.
What I read was for better words…horrifying.
Ya, you read it right. If you are going to be with th at piece of shit who I think is not even good enough to lick your shoes then I have to say th at you will have to go at it alone. Please do not come to any family g at herings when I am there. Please tell my mother your decision and don’t let her worry and feel sad because her own sister is avoiding her and not wanting to come to family reunions.I would call you if I knew your number but all I can do is write this here as I know not many people read my blog.
Family is blood and through all the lies and problems th at we had I was willing to turn a blind eye because my mother taught me th at wh at ever happens you gotta w at ch your families back. If not family then who will??? I’m disappointed, bitter and the most vocal in the family. Everyone else couldn’t care less with wh at is happening as long as the family dynamics are preserved.
You want it hushed up? You want people to pretend? I am sure everyone will do it for you but don’t expect it from me and if you know wh at is good for you and your family please do not be at tending any events when I am there. Tell you ‘friend’ to stay far far away from my family.
My heart is broken for the fact th at our bond was so insignificant to you th at you could not trust a young girls decision to protect her family (which you were very much a part of). Your decision to me makes me feel th at you think she’s an easy going girl who couldn’t care less to wh at would happen to you. Let me tell you now th at she was in agony and th at she didn’t want to say anything. She was going to pretend it didn’t happen, like nothing happened and wished th at she had just imagined it. The first time she brushed it off as a joke, the second time she felt uncomfortable but wasn’t sure who to ask, the third time she was scared. Your ‘friend’ was always there hovering. Should she tell someone? Wh at if people thought it was her fault? Would she be blamed? No, she shouldn’t say anything, pretend th at it was nothing and it will all go away. But how long can one pretend? You should know th at feeling.
However, she was racked with guilt thinking how it would affect you and how your life might turn out if she didn’t say anything. Like how a rape victim refuses to tell people wh at happened to her but only blurts out a confession when several victims have been found and if she had spoken sooner she could have stopped the madness.
Please don’t bother commenting or writing to me. I will delete it and your presence from my sphere. I am hurt and disappointed th at you thought we could not help you when you were suffering and thinking th at our concern was false and condescending. After writing this I refuse to re-read this post because I know if I did I would end up not posting this.
So, now your wondering if it affected her because she is acting all care free and happy? Of course she will feel like th at , can you blame her? It’s like being in prison and finally being able to go out and smell the fresh air one would normally jump for joy. No more anger, no more guilt, no more thoughts of ‘it was my fault, I am sure I did something to deserve th at ’, no more having to feel like she had been viol at ed in front of everybody else. She has passed the b at on on to you and wh at ever decision you make she has been set free and you berate her for that ??? When all this was happening all she could think about was “Should I tell, should I say something, I might be making the biggest mistake here. But w at if she gets hurt? Or worse she won’t talk to me anymore? She will think it’s my fault, I can’t tell her. Wh at I am going to do?” Reading your post I guessed you wish for her to just ignore it and not tell you anything. You prefer to stay in the dark and since you like quotes so much I shall give you one of my favorites.
“They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering th at does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.
I might be tempted to envy people who can live th at way, except th at I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia, and th at brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimagin at ive see more monsters. They are often more afraid.” Excerpt from JK Rowlings speech to Harvard gradu at es June 5 , 2008
For that I cannot stand by your side and call you sister or family.
Now after writing this the rush of anger has fled and wh at remains is immense sadness. In a couple of years this might seem like I blew this out of proportion and acted irr at ionally. I grew up in a family th at had its shares of problems and we weren’t perfect. Heck! We are million light years away from perfect. Everyone knows everyone’s secrets but th at didn’t stop us from banding together when there was an outside thre at . However, this one decision you have made I cannot look the other way and hope it will turn out fine for you and not jeopardizes the safety of ALL our family members. I sincerely hope that you are right and th at you gain the happiness, calm and peacefulness th at you have been searching for. But heaven help you if you made a wrong decision and only found out th at you made a wrong decision at the expense of your family.
Please note that this rant is my own personal views and in no way reflects the other family members views. Don’t get angst at the rest if you have a problem talk to me but I know you won’t as all you want is to pretend that everything is ok. Well good luck with that and even if my presence was never much in your life know th at I won’t be in it anymore but heck who am I kidding, you got wh at you want you won’t even realize th at I‘m not there anymore.
Quote taken from : http://harvardmagazine.com/commencement/the-fringe-benefits-failure-the-importance-imagin at ion