More often then not I feel caught between a web of my own expectations and the expectations of others, I feel as if I am falling in a downward spiral. How long will this go on? When will it end? I know nothing but I fear nothing, I only feel frustration that this is taking so long, If I am to plunge to my death then so be it but let me wait no more. Let it happen now while I still have conscious thought in my mind and breath in my lungs. I feel my short tongue thicken, and I wonder why, I feel thirsty and hot. I feel the heat building and know not what to do and then it stops. I am almost there and then the spiral down ward begins again…
Am I depress I hear myself say
Inner monologue is that what they say
Is this is what they call it now
Talking to oneself
Seems so impersonal
Why don’t they call it conversations of the soul and body.
My body is dirty
A temple that has been desecrated by thoughts and actions that is unworthy of it
The temple has been unused and left in the dark growing old and mouldy
I have sinned
I have not repented
My body thinks it has but the soul knows better
When the body realizes this the inner eye reacts
The tongue swells
And the downward spiral begins again
When will this end
When will I know
Will I ever?
If this is my fate let it end now
With a conscious thought in my head
And breath within my lungs
Let it end now.