Inner Monologue

More often then not I feel caught between a web of my own expectations and the expectations of others, I feel as if I am falling in a downward spiral. How long will this go on? When will it end? I know nothing but I fear nothing, I only feel frustration that this is taking so long, If I am to plunge to my death then so be it but let me wait no more. Let it happen now while I still have conscious thought in my mind and breath in my lungs. I feel my short tongue thicken, and I wonder why, I feel thirsty and hot.  I feel the heat building and know not what to do and then it stops. I am almost there and then the spiral down ward begins again…

Am I depress I hear myself say

Inner monologue is that what they say

Is this is what they call it now

Talking to oneself

Inner monologue

Seems so impersonal

So distant

So scientific

Why don’t they call it conversations of the soul and body.

My body is dirty

A temple that has been desecrated by thoughts and actions that is unworthy of it

The temple has been unused and left in the dark growing old and mouldy

I have sinned

I have not repented

My body thinks it has but the soul knows better

When the body realizes this the inner eye reacts

The tongue swells

And the downward spiral begins again

When will this end

When will I know

Will I ever?

If this is my fate let it end now

With a conscious thought in my head

And breath within my lungs

Let it end now.

Till Then


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Filed under Got a lot of soul, Life, MsAudreyC, Useless facts

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