I have come to realized that even though I try to fill my time with other activities, cramp it so tight that I don’t even have time to think. But when is all said and done I still feel unfulfilled. I am rarely afraid but I am starting to think that I might end up like this for the rest of my life and I don’t think I am strong enough to move on and disappoint those who are closest to me and whom I love dearly.
I now know that it’s a blessing and a trap when things go too well all the time. Life marred by tragedy tends to shape us to be stronger individuals.
I have been given wonderful advised by people who care and the common theme in all of them is that we must look out for the number 1 thing in our life which is ourself. I, me, saya is the number 1, the numero uno. I can’t think like that because the ‘me’ now is linked with a lot of other people who whether I like it or not makes me, me.
I know what I need to do but the road seems so much more longer and arduous then if I were just to close my eyes and just jump and f* the consequences.