Swearing my mouth off

I am in a conundrum, when I was in Malaysia I rarely sweared, it was not classy. Only hoes and sluts and general riff raff swear. Totally not ladylike and swearing just means the person is insecure and has something to prove. I grew up with this and I believed and breathe this stuff. So imagine my surprise when I went to another country, my loving mum and dad was no longer around and I had to make friends all on my own.

When you first meet me most of the time the consensus is that, I’m a generally nice chick, unassuming, easy on the eyes and okla you know, boleh tahan. But I don’t know what it was, maybe the fresh air in Auckland, the milk, the people, the general shifting of the universe putting me off my pole axes or it was just me la kan. I just changed.

When I open my mouth first thing I would say is Freaking Flying Fuck, wtf does he know. Unbelievable, I tell you it’s fucking unbelievable. Etc.

Wah, I felt so free. It’s that feeling of experiencing your first climax, well not that good but close, freaking close.

So yeah, what happened was that in front of my family I try not to swear and drop the f bombs too much. When I do I look them straight in the eye and say “I’m sorry” just so they know I mean it from the bottom of my heart. But I have gotten cocky. I thought “

“Heck, I’m 27 now. I can swear whenever I want,right? Right??? Wrong!”

So I rarely swear in front of my parents and especially not on FB but I got cocky and started dropping them in there, discreetly of course (not knowing that there is no way to ‘discreetly’ drop swear word in your status bar. It’s like  a muscly transvestite trying to be discreet in a 2 sizes too small dress with matching coloured heels. Yougetwhatiamtryingtosay?

My mother went all sanctimonious and wrote for everyone to see what she thought of my supposedly discreetness.

I love you ma.

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