I don’t get it, really I don’t.
How can a sweet intelligent woman end up dating a jerk? The extended family is no longer talking to her and she doesn’t talk to them anymore. This is the same girl who was my buddy at gin rum mi and Russian poker. The same girl who supported me through out all my competitions. A girl who I have the utmost admiration for, she studies hard, works hard, aims high and get straight A’s every single time. I forgot how many times my mother has given me sideway glances whenever she announces her grades. Now, we are no longer talking. I haven’t seen her for ages and as long as she is with the reptile that she is with now I don’t think I will be seeing her anytime soon. She missed my wedding, missed the parties, the family gatherings and family bonding for what? A turd? A sorry piece excuse of a man?
She calls him her best friend, the person who understands her and accepts her for all her faults. Well honey, do I have a newsflash for you! He’s lucky to even kiss the ground that you walk on. Of course he accepts everything that you are. I mean what is there not to like? Your intelligent, eloquent, beautiful, kind and gullible. However, let me make an oxymoronic statement by adding that although you have all the sterling qualities a good woman should have you are also stupid. I mean, how else are we to explain your choices in men? I’d keep my mouth shut if this dude was just a bed warmer for the chilly monsoon seasons that hits KK. But it looks like you guys are going as far as walking down the aisle together. One thing is for certain the jerk is a smart man, he is going to hold on to the best thing that has ever happened to him and he is holding on tight.
You say, your in love? Then let me hit you with something real “Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone – but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.”- Bette Davis (1908 – 1989). You can’t only be in love, you need trust to build a solid foundation and baby girl, that trust you had with him was shattered a long time ago. You can’t hide from the fact and I won’t let you. You’re lucky, many know of this broken trust and instead of hiding away from it like it’s some sort of dirty secret. Use it to your advantage, use it to make yourself stronger and wiser and know that there all types of love and the one we had was binding not by choice but by the simple fact that we share a bond of blood.
I hope you’re not under some misbegotten notion that you will be able to change him. The ever popular “I can change him to be a better man” syndrome? You can’t change a person unless that person wants to be changed. Girl, I don’t know if you’re desperate or something but know that there is definitely much better fishes out there and if there isn’t, it sure as hell better then the dead fish that you have right now. You better run while you still can honey, cause when time passes by and you find yourself at home pregnant with your second child and you hear he’s been fooling around with the 18 year old neighborhood ho, running away won’t be so easy anymore. Wake up, smell the shit and flush it out.
BooM! In your face.