Creative complaint letter regarding a pen

I wanted to show you this extremely funny complaint email. Names have been suppressed for obvious reasons -_- AND if you know Kelvin you will totally agree with me that this would be something he would totally do.

Right click for bigger view of picture


Hahaha, he has immaculate writing and maths but he spelt cheque as check. My sister would say this is a classic case of  “ambil kesempatan”.

Till Then



Filed under Auckland, Life, Useless facts

8 responses to “Creative complaint letter regarding a pen

  1. shermayne

    what are you going to reply it with?? hahahaha

  2. definitely provided I had nothing else better to do hahah!

  3. Meizi

    Dear XXXX

    Thank you for your email. I do apologize on behalf of [the company’s name] for the non-functional pen that you have purchased.

    We will be happy to provide you with the refund of the pen $1.40 if you so wish, with a cheque, not check. Given the reasons below, we will not be providing any further refunds.

    – Any well-prepared student taking a test would know to take more than one pen to the examination to prevent what you had just experienced
    – A pen can stop working for a variety of reasons, and not all if attributable to the company alone.
    – Your estimate of 3% of your final grade is not supported by any hard scientific method
    – I believe a normal university course will not be impacted by 3% of one test, in face when you recalculate it again spreading that 3% of that one test into the standard 8 modules one would normally take in a year in a normal university course, it would work out to be more like 0.375% (or $9 using your logic).
    – Now estimating the time it has taken your to write your letter, say 20 minutes, with the minimum wage of about $12.50 (if you were smart enough to find a job), you just spent $4.16
    – If we were to give you a ‘check’ for $9, it would not cover your efforts, the check clearance costs that you would have to pay for, and the pen cost of $1.40. This is not even including the power bill and bill needed to send this letter to us

    However, we do appreciate you writing to us letting us know of the defaulted pen. As any great service company would, we would like to help you solve your problem to avoid another incident like this. Please try the following troubleshoot options:

    1) Always bring a spare pen to a very important exam that would cost you $2,400
    2) Scribble vigorously for a while on a piece of scratch paper. Sometimes, this is all it takes to coax a pen into writing tip.
    3) Run tip under cold water. If dried up ink is clogging the tip, this could get things flowing again.
    4) Lightly press pen on something (paper is best) and wait for it to start writing.
    5) Rub it on the bottom of your shoe, then test it.
    6) Tap the pen tip against a desk, or other hard surface. Put paper underneath so that you don’t get ink all over. The ink may start to flow.
    7) Warm up the pen. Leave it in a sunny windowsill for awhile or hold it under warm water.
    8) Write on an eraser, other rubber surface or wood. This may get the ball of the pen to move freely.
    9) Shake the pen. Hold the back end of the pen, opposite the tip, and shake the pen like a thermometer. Sometimes air bubbles get into the ink cylinder, so shaking the ink down toward the tip
    10) Make a few dots. When something comes out make swirls to test.
    11) If refill tube is full, remove tip and soak in alcohol …. this has fixed a BIC fine point pen that was ten years old.
    12) Put pen(s) in a ziplock bag. Put it in a pot and make sure pens are laid flat in the water. Boil pen(s) in boiling water for about 3-5 mins. Take the ziplock bag out of the pot and let it cool. When pen(s) are cool enough to handle, take it out of the bag and forcefully dab pen(s) on a paper. After several dabs pen should work.
    13) If you’re able to remove the ink cartridge and the cartridge does not have a cap on the opposite end from the ballpoint, you can blow into that end for a second or two which may work as an on the go fix. But be warned, do not suck on the pen cartridge, despite looking like you can’t suck any of the ink into your mouth you can.
    14) It may be that the refill is impossible to obtain. The Waterman Titane is a case in point. Using a drop of nail polish remover, force a wire into the tube until you find the dried ink and remove as much as you can. It gets messy. Once you can push the wire to the bottom of the refill, take a .010″ guitar string and repeat the process until you get all the way to the ball itself. The nail polish remover will act as a solvent and get it going again. Refilling is a matter of removing the ball assembly from another refill and dripping the ink in a drop at a time, ensuring that the added ink runs down the side of the tube without blocking it.
    15) This may take a few days, doing it a couple of drops per evening but it is a technique that has saved a very fine and otherwise scrap pen.
    16) Rub the tip of clogged pen on an emery stick.
    17) You can also take the ink cartrige out and blow on the clean end then reinsert the ink cartrige and there you go good as new.
    18) If all else fails, get a new pen. We will gladly love to continue to receive your patronage

    Thank you.

  4. lol that’s hilarious. is this something you have to deal with!? haha but check is american spelling tho… he spells harbour as harbor… u should tell him that he would have had no chance in scoring that 3% anyway since we don’t use american english here…

  5. shermayne

    OMG!! HAHAHAHAHA… that’s awesome meizi!! Couldn’t stop laughing reading it…. audrey, send it.. send it back to that fella! hahahahhahaha!!!!

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