I am 32 years old this year and I am not feeling it. I don’t feel older, or wiser or know where I want to be in my life, but I feel good. I feel better now then when I was in my twenties and I asked myself ‘why is that?’. After much thinking I found 5 reasons why I am happier now.
Removed toxic people from my circle of friends
There are people who help you grow as a human being and there are people who stunt your growth to make themselves feel good. I swapped those kind of people with the ones that believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. I stopped hanging out with people who talked behind my back to strangers and never told me my faults to my face. I held on tight to people who were not afraid to be themselves and told me what a bish I was when I was being one. I identified and removed people who only wanted to be around people but they were not genuinely interested in me as a person and was only a number to add to their tally of friends.
Learned to truly accept that not everyone is going to like me and I don’t have to like every single person I meet
People want to be liked and have friends and I am no different from anyone else. Sure, I wanted to be liked for being myself but sometimes I felt pressured to be something I’m not to be popular and be liked by everyone. I would do things that felt wrong just to fit in. I wanted to fit in with a crowd that just didn’t get me and that felt wrong. Hanging out with people who had a different set of beliefs from my own felt wrong. I don’t have the need to go out drinking every day but when I do I want to hang out with people who didn’t pretend to drink that shot glass only for me to find out they had swapped vodka with water. Those kind of friends no one needs. Ya’ know what I’m saying?
Not all relationships and friendships are meant to last
I use to hang on to friendships and relationships like they were going out of style. Most of the time I hung on like a cowboy because I had no clue that it is often best to let go then to hang on and sour the relationship. Most of my experiences have ended up bitterly and I could have salvaged the situation and remain friends if I had the sense to let go. One particularly bad experience was when I was 15 years old and I found out my best friend was a lesbian. Instead of being a decent human being and supporting her, I bitched about her to her ‘friends’…did not end well at all for all…Anyhoo, I will save that story for another blog post.
Failing is a part of life, it is the prerequisite to success. The hardest thing to do is actually taking the first step.
I now understand what people mean when they say “I wish I could go back in time and be 18 again but with my experiences and knowledge that I have now with me”. I used to think that’s silly who wants to be 18 again, what is the point? The point would be that I would have tried 10,000 things before I turned 30. I would have failed at almost every single thing and succeed at some. The key here is to learn to fail and continue trying again. Failure brings about invaluable lessons that could not be learned otherwise. However, now that I am in my thirties I guess I should start on one of those 10,000 things and start failing so I can succeed when I am 50. Here, I go!
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness
I use to think that not asking for help was an admirable thing. In our society we are favorably looked upon if we heap a lot of things on our plate and not ask for any help, even when we are unable to cope with the pressure, seeking help should be done as a last resort even if it’s to our own detriment.
Only now (especially after having children) did I realise that asking for help is important and pretending to know everything and do everything on my own is silly and can be downright dangerous especially when it involves children. Asking for help at home means I get more rest which means I am more happy and slower to anger when dealing with an obstinate child. Asking for help at work means I can delegate my task and be more efficient. Asking friends for help would make them feel more appreciated and trustworthy and I get to spend time with them at the same time. Asking for help should not be looked upon as a sign of weakness (of course it has to be a genuine request and not just some random request to help mow the lawn cause your too lazy to get off the couch), asking for help should be seen as a smarter way of doing things. People should ask for help more often and it will help us all be kinder to one another.
***Just a quick recap, I joined a blog challenge called A to Z challenge where we write a post a day based on the alphabet.
My other posts for the challenge;